My Mommy Hung the Moon...and then I threw applesauce at it.
I read that book just about every night, not the applesauce part mind you. "My mommy hung the moon. She tied it with string. My mommies good at everything." Yeah, well sorry Jamie Lee Curtis, but you live in a delusional world. I can barely get the kid to drink milk (kids are supposed to like milk, aren't they???) and when the moon comes up? It's lights out time kiddo!!!! Sorry, don't get too attached.
Here's the thing, I am a single-ish mama as far as being a non-married, non-traditional mother is concerned. I have an amazing support system and someone I could spend every waking minute with, but that being said, day in and day out...I am the mom.
Obviously the mother clan knows what it means to have had a baby. Exhaustion. Fat where it wasn't before. Exhaustion. Dark circles under your eyes. Exhaustion. Flabby arms, aka bingo wings...need I say more? Oh yeah, and lets not forget: Exhaustion. To top off the exhaustion, lets add some throw-up, boogers, blood, snarly hair, crusted on food and then lets bring it right back home to EXHAUSTION. It's like nothing I have ever felt before in my entire life. I've pulled all-nighters, both for fun and for not so fun reasons. I've driven hours on end and sat through countless boring and ridiculous meetings. Nothing a little caffeine and exercise couldn't fix. This folks, is sheer and irreparable exhaustion.
Yep, you read that right. I used to exercise. Now, I chase little legs, shoo little feet from standing on furniture, dry tears, and clean up spills. Not the typical form of exercise, but who's counting. So, here I figure I will insert some dieting. I figure, hell (ahem, I mean heck...shoot, dang, you know the PG terms), I did it once I can do it again! So here comes the gluten-free attempt. Who am I trying to kid?!?!?! That is ridiculous. First of all, every kid snack basically known to man has gluten in it. Goldfish? Yes please. With my kid, it's like I'm the parrot in Aladdin, and I'm getting crackers shoved in my face even though my mouth is clamped tight and I am shaking my head "no" vigorously...What was that parrots name again? Doesn't matter. Basically, the kid foiled most of my GF plans!!! Easier to lay blame there then on the fact that I essentially have zero will power and cannot fathom a day without my blessed pasta, bread, and crackers. But here I sit trying. I will try to update you on this attempt, but don't think that I'm going to offer you tips and recipes....I don't even know what day it is so, I can't be that girl for you.
I don't do coffee, so the exhaustion tends to just settle in my bones and is the driving force behind every mistake I make on a daily basis. Yesterday, I walked into the grocery store, filled my cart, went to the register and yep, you guessed it...NO WALLET!!! Of all things. So little bean and I parked our cart, lost a shoe, stopped to re-attach said shoe, which led to a minor meltdown, walked to the car, found said wallet, retrieved our parked cart and proceeded to check out with red cheeks and the speed of a gazelle bagging groceries. Get me the *&^%$#* out of here!!!! Yikes.
